A 3-HOLE PUNCH? DO I LOOK LIKE AN ASSHOLE?

Get this thing out of my sight...
I have very little use for certain things in this world, like scratching posts, Quicken software, a melon baller, and dew claws.  I suppose we can now add 3-hole punches to that list.

The Cat Reports staff attempted to come up with some practical uses for this stupid thing, and after an hour of brainstorming we were able to come up with two.  Unfortunately, we forgot what they both were.

Afterward, we tried to get rid of this evil 3-hole punch by storing it away in a dark closet.  Unfortunately, our night vision is so good that we kept seeing it every time we went in there.


THE GOOD: None that we can remember.

THE BAD: It exists.

OVERALL RATING: If you own a 3-hole punch, please use it to 3-hole punch yourself in the genitals.

THIS REMOTE CONTROL MAKES A TERRIBLE CHAIR

I’ve been sitting on this stupid remote control for over two hours, and it hasn’t reclined or hatched.  Some other staff members here have argued that I “don’t understand the use of a remote control,” whatever that means.

I hate to leave overly negative reviews, but on top of being a crappy chair, this remote also tastes nothing like ham.  Those are two of my least favorite things, as the following list illustrates:

THINGS I HATE:
A.) – Things that are crappy chairs.
B.) – Things that don’t taste like ham.
3.) – Improperly numbered lists.


OVERALL ADVICE:  Save your money and sit on a ham instead.