KITCHENAID ELECTRIC STAND MIXERS

Moments before all hell broke loose...

Initially, I was a little reluctant to try out any mixer, let alone KitchenAid’s classic staple.  But as soon as it turned on and the metal parts started spinning around, I felt only one thing:  Pure panic.

I don’t know what KitchenAid uses to power their products, but evidently it’s terror.  These mixers come with ten separate adjustable stirring speeds, including “Horrifying,” “Traumatic,” and “I’ll Be Under the Couch.” 

I suppose this machine is only rivaled by the vacuum cleaner, which is still a great source of stress for the whole staff here.  Basically, if you don’t mind the sound of a thousand banshees screaming into your soul at once, totally buy a KitchenAid mixer.  If you fear and respect deafening evil robots, then we suggest you do your mixing manually.
   
THE GOOD:  10-speed mixing, variety of colors, numerous attachments.

THE BAD:  We’re pretty sure this thing is out to kill us.  Everybody stay sharp.