THIS CUISINART BLENDER TRIED TO MURDER ME

I killed it in self defense

I must start by saying that I’ve prided myself on providing unbiased, objective coverage of all sorts of appliances.  I certainly don’t want to be the one to start slinging mud.  But this has to be said:  Cuisinart’s food processor/blender combo with 7-speed, touch pad controls just tried to murder me.  I was forced to end its life whilst defending myself.  Better send in a body bag.  And make it an extra small.

It all happened so fast that it’s nearly impossible for anybody to ever know what really took place.  Although it was clearly the fault of the food processor, I wish its family no ill will.  I hope they all go on to lead long lives of processing assorted foods in the future. 

I’d usually list product features at this point, but the only feature of this product is malicious enthusiasm for pure, icy murder.

THE GOOD:  7-speed blending, dishwasher safe, sleek chrome design.

THE BAD:  Not cunning enough to kill me.  Try harder next time, Cuisinart.

OVERALL RATING:  Dead (for now).