WHATEVER IT LOOKS LIKE I'M DOING, I'M DEFINITELY NOT

I'm doing things, but those things are unrelated to the things it looks like I'm doing.
So, I don’t know what you think you saw me doing with this laptop, but it wasn’t that. It might’ve looked like I was doing something, but the thing I was doing wasn’t anything at all like the thing you thought I was doing. There were things I was doing, but they’re definitely not the things that you thought you saw me doing. Those things and my things are totally different.

Look, so there’s no more confusion going forward from here on out, this list should help clarify specific things that I definitely wasn’t doing…

List of things I definitely wasn’t doing:
  • Whatever it looked like.
  • Something else it might’ve looked like.
  • Anything you might’ve seen.
  • Whatever you think you saw.
  • Porning out.

The bottom line here: Things were done. They just weren’t/aren’t the things you think you might’ve seen me doing, nor are they anything similar to those things that you think you saw.

Special thanks to guest contributor Simon.