BUYING GUIDE: CLOCK BLOCKING

You can have some basil when I'm done in here.

Hey folks, it's your old pal Jackson here with another helpful buying guide.  We all have trouble waking up in the morning, especially when we've spent the entire night running back and forth through the house for no apparent reason.  Finding the right alarm clock can take the stress out of having to wake up before 5pm.
First and foremost, I would recommend keeping the alarm clock next to your bed.  Also, I would recommend sleeping in a flower pot, since it gives you serious street-cred among the dead bugs on the windowsill.


Here are some things to consider when purchasing an alarm clock:

SNOOZE TIMER?  Since we're inevitably going to be hitting the snooze button a few times, it's important to determine the amount of time that will elapse in between the alarms.  I recommend anywhere between 7 to 10 business days.


SOUND MODES?  Rather than using the traditional buzzing sound, many alarm clock offer the option of playing music instead.  Waking up to Hall and Oates always invigorates me for another day of secretly throwing up behind furniture.


MAYBE DON'T PLUG IT IN?  Leaving your alarm clock unplugged allows for a fuller and deeper 22-hour sleep.