It seems like every time I'm ready to provide an insightful overview of different televisions, I'm confronted once again by my most ruthless and cunning arch-nemesis: Stupid 2-dimensional birds.
Slightly flatter than other birds I see outside the window, these 2-D birds seem to shine brighter, feel smoother, and piss me off even more. I've never actually caught one, since they seem to be harder to catch than their analog counterparts. In fact, I took a swipe at one a few weeks ago, and not only was it unfazed, it immediately turned into the giant face of Pat Sajak asking me if I wanted to "buy a vowel." Now that's a hell of a defense mechanism.
The bottom line here: If you're looking to buy a TV, do your research. And if you see one those 2-dimensional bastards anywhere, shout the secret code. The code will be, "Murder those birds."
PLASMA - Slightly more expensive, better picture.
LCD - More affordable, picture quality varies by brand.
2-DIMENSIONAL BIRDS - Total assholes.
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